i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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