Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
