its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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