Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
