he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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