So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
