I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
