I miss vodka workout Fridays
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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