I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
