we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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