Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
