we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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