she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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