Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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