So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
