S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
