Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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