after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
