In America we eat man semen.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
