I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize