I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
