You smell like a Billy Joel song
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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