my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
