We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh god it's open bar.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
