Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had to cum in my sink.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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