i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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