doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
