Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
