Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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