i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
