Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
