My room smells like vodka and shame
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
