U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
