3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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