doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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