do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
