i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
