Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
