if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
third nipple confirmed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
