You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
