This girl is more easily done than said...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
