Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
