If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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