when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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