Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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