At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
