Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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