He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
