No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
