We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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