i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
