Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
