I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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