someone get that fucking seahorse.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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