on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
