From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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