I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
