Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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