Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
