Betty ford says i'm here all night
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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